P. because i have to move on ...

2008-04-20T11:58:00.000+08:00

welcome:

http://citizenofpressurecooker.blogspot.com/

whatever

2008-03-12T01:47:00.003+08:00

this is almost like a trash blog. devoid of anything consistent and substantial. no emotional attachments.

if blogging was made even simpler, like a complex machine that translates my thoughts to this space, it'll be great man. coz i've shit loads of stuff going on & never had any motivation to pen it down.

& since this space have been left neglected for like donkey years, no one reads it anymore.
cool.

latest scandal rocking the philipina "high society":
http://delfindjmontano.blogspot.com/

what a revelation ....

just maybe

2007-08-15T22:56:00.000+08:00

bigots in singapore should emigrate to ...

london bridge

2007-07-17T21:59:00.000+08:00

having sex is like playing bridge.
if you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a goodhand ...

i have bowling to thank.
of course, spinners will never match finger tip bowlers.

because it was record breaking

2006-12-07T16:35:00.000+08:00

15 shots + that few sticks that ive been abstaining for the longest time.
i wasnt exactly sloshed. my threshold is up again.

because u know how funny it has been when u dont go looking, they come looking for u, unexpectedly.

they said i should be happy. really?

how many blows within that couple of hours?

1) mourning over ...

2) only to have that ... after 6 years to be seated just 2 metres away from me. omg. i think it was kinda repulsive. doesnt help when she was trying so hard to get what i refused to give. lol. lucky for my bodyguards.

3) some funny stalker who called for me but the call was answered by this dodo girl who was quite sloshed and stupidly took that stalker's words for real. yea, i didnt know i had 2 moms. like duh. and that stalker is a loser man. seriously. no balls. call but .... sigh. loser.

4) to realise that i was surrounded by those boys that were so intrusive, and more importantly, losers. great, they can go speculate and conclude whatever that rocks their puny egos. hahaha.

oh yes, i have a new member to my family now.
woohooo .. shes so gona revert me back to a spoilt brat that i was since young.
nvm, i dont really care. i think after all that shit, i truly deserve this treatment.

beautiful women on the outside but inside?

2006-12-06T17:44:00.000+08:00

tyra banks took over oprah's time slot and her talkshow rocks.

those women featured were seriously attractive individuals, but what laid beyond their impeccable porcelain skins were dysfunctional stories and a less than perfect life that they projected.

-promiscuity that were normalised.
-self-destructive nature.
-esteem and insecurities beneath that seemingly confident persona.
-sexually abused by their bfs.

im sure paula white has earned immense respect and motivated countless lives as a life coach.
she could have been deluded in her own world with all that innate defense mechanisms, to opposing critics about her all-so-fine life that she embraced.

shes one living example - people will change for the better and will have the courage to face issues that were self-threatening to their esteem. the ability for someone to step out and confront their issues constructively is really applaudable.

everybody manifest behaviors differently.

back to the optimistic outlook that i lost for awhile, i believe, slowly but surely.

because that made so much sense

2006-12-04T04:35:00.000+08:00

"u think ure into yellow ribbon project"?!

lol.

that's the funniest, smartest, apt-est thing she's said for 2006 thus far.

ill attempt to preserve ur right to anonymity, since sometimes u want to act so shy. lol.
but since its really a compliment, feel free to step out hor.

but seriously, yes, no more yellow ribbon project.
if not, ill risk a red ribbon project - and thats 'the end' of my bright future. lol.
damn, im so mean. but heck it.

(im sure with ur intellectual ability, u'll get my drift on that)

because its 3.5?!

2006-12-04T04:02:00.000+08:00

ms chin,
.
.
.
.
.
.

u have mua's respect!

(only limited to this aspect though)

i can only see 3.5 floating above ur head now.

.
.
.
.
.

although ure so "FJ", stop that repulsive J's endless questions (at least for the remaining 2006).
spare me the agony.

give me some credit for answering u all ur identical qns 50 times at least.
u know how when a person don't mk sense anymore, ill let them engage in their own monologue? lol.

if it makes u happy ....... lalalalaa

just rem my 2 answers: 2 months and that 5 words which i don't think u want me to make it public here. lol.

ill charge u a hefty consultation fee.

stop being so "FJ" already.
reminds me of that ______ that is so FJ in denial.

other than that

.
.
.
.

respect.

how apt

2006-04-14T01:18:00.000+08:00

all sense of hope vanished, along with idea of a futurity; my brain, in thrall to its outlaw hormones, had become less an organ of thought than an instrument registering, minute by minute, varying degrees of its own suffering.

the mornings themselves are becoming bad now ... but afternoons are still the worst, when I'd feel the horror, like some poisonous fogbank, roll in upon my mind, forcing me into bed. there i would lie for as long as six hours, stuporous and virtually paralyzed, gazing at the ceiling in a less cluttered room.

waiting for that moment of evening when, mysteriously, the crucifixation would ease up just enough to allow me to force down some food and then, like an automaton, back to the stuporous paralyzed state.

breathe

2006-03-30T14:46:00.000+08:00

being busy now is not a bad thing i realised. at least it keeps me busy & puts me away (not entirely) from thinking stuff that compromises with my very much needed focus and drive now. being busy & to be bogged down with so many other (not very positive) issues truly suck a whole deal. even during the few hours of pathetic slp i can afford, my mind is still so active even though im so drained.

ive finally concluded my last formal presentation today with 3 very impressive discussants guest starring. they had a long list of very impressive achievements to their name. we had the CEO of some investing company and angel capitalist, the CEO of Esplanade and the Director of deutsche bank. their constructive critics only reinforced how fcuking smart they are. 3 more weeks to the end of the semester & im really so sick of sch already.

the insights u gain from your peers, proff, research materials, credible discussants not only shape how u perceive, but it reinforces ur perceptions to a level of higher credibility. for instance, going through Psychology classes, u learn and understand humans more, what it means when people say or do something. Or even to refute something they hv said because u know for a fact that it can be attributed to some fundamental errors of human. it is interesting and it not only promotes self-awareness and objectivity, it also helps when u take all these concepts and proven studies out of classrooms and apply it to ur daily life. it conflicts and mind-fucks u when u meet people who are ignorant to such knowledge when ure in the process of negotiation.

u realise how people can be so self-serving without realising it for themselves in their daily speeches and actions. the redeeming factor is that, because ure aware of how people are prone to errors, u tend to be more forgiving and attribute errors to these divine revelations of human. the fuckup factor is that too much of forgiving fucks u up as a person & allow people to take u for granted. what does the bigger person get? ans:expanding blood vessels that finally burst one day. having said that, i second on the thought of majoring psych simply because ignorance is bliss, sometimes. the inability to form perceptions and 'judge' people helps in many aspects. denial is a gd strategy to be applied, not when it gets dysfunctional.

sch cannot be more stressing. but it can be fulfilling becoz u feel so empowered with knowledge and all, BUT the deal is that i seldom feel this way abt sch. haha. dammit. my mom recently mentioned how ive become less of a happy and optimistic person. which i agree totally. events that happpened last year had a huge impact, and assessment of integrity in people have generally declined. as u grow older, experience the fuckups things/pple that can go wrong in ur life, its only natural to take a more cynical and suspective outlook towards anything in general. my psyc proff reaffirmed what ive said too. haha. so i dun care if u disagree with me anot. ure in delusion if u do. haha.

i sooo need a getaway after my exams. supposed to go bkk but it has to be in a riot state now. wusuup with thaksin? wusup with burning of lee hsien loong and his wife (not literally tho)? as one may argue that it was a legitimate acquisition blah blah blah and may take into offence with the buring of our beloved merlion, sg govt should have anticipated this when they decided to takeover Shin Corp. it is after all their national asset and what obvious implications do we need to consider when the takeover reflects a foreign dominance? ans: full of angry & sugar high level of thais protesting lah. making demands that seem quite duh. u know sg govt will not give up Shin corp. their demands to retract the entire takeover make it seem like a zara shoe went wrong and demand for a refund. its not as simple as a char kway teow transaction lor.

"the sg govt definitely need to take classes on business, govt and society". a passing statement from my proff.

anyway, not that i really care much of the politics now. in the current state i am, i take the stand of a fatalist (rilek one korner attitude). i just need the riot to stop soon. i want my trip to proceed as planned.

ok, enough of crap.

i need to nap now.

this year onwards

2006-01-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

CNY is meaningless.

absolutely meaningless for me now.

nothing to look foward to.

depressing.

screw the rooster 2005 lah

2006-01-01T08:17:00.000+08:00

how apt. it has been a cock year for me. never had so much cock happening in my entire life before. i dun flourish in the year of cock. if cheena horoscope had a pussy year, im fucking sure ill rock & it'll be an orgasmic year for me. cocks just dont do it for me.

i dun even wana attempt to recap the events that happened. its just too painful.

Happy 2006 to all!

december

2005-12-30T02:26:00.000+08:00

Sch's commencing on 3rd jan. boohoo!
all classes @ 0830 sumore! boohoo x10!

had so much fun during the 1 pathetic month of hols. my nerd was hoping to be talent spotted as mediacorp stuntwoman in the 98.7 midnite skates event that resulted her with almost half a month MC. so poorthing. i had to do almost everything for her (eg/ showering her) hee. i reckon it got so routined that she made a comment to claude that amused me.

"she shower me until get so sick of seeing my body."

i never had the luxury to spend so much time with her before.
super duper fucking happy! =D
i should thank her stuntwoman-wannabe aspiration. haha.

ok, before i receive strong protest after she reads this for discrediting her superb blading skills, she was thrown off course when some dumbass kissed her wheels while she was in her crabbing pattern heading downhill. i cant begin to imagine what it would have been if the elbow and knee guards were not made mandatory (to be worn) during the event.

When u slp at 10am and wake up at 9pm everyday, this is one of the activities u can consider:

i visited the virgina of singapore 6 consecutive days. not for the cannot-make-it pros there, but for the beef horfun, frog leg porridge and beancurd. i didnt gain any weight though. sad man.

my virgin visit to Mustafa Center. interesting and fun. Cyn is definitely a regular there. consider her superb navigation ability in the huge center.

ok, i want to end now. lazy to blog already.

life starts after

2005-12-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

this sat 4pm!

ill be on the loose real soon ...

so fucking excited!

u dun get to see this everyday

2005-11-20T06:18:00.000+08:00

muahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaa

in self-defense - this picture was taken upon request/demand.

- sticker was strategically stuck there for very obvious reason.

- of course, i wouldnt be so narcissistic to have choreographed this on my own.

- of course, i bet ive accomplished my objective after YOU've read this.

translated from dictionary.com

2005-11-17T00:39:00.000+08:00

In English:
i am fucking tired

In Simplified Chinese:
我是性交疲乏

no title

2005-11-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

not my ideal 图片 yet.

to u

2005-11-16T23:39:00.000+08:00

me: IM ACTIVE!

(

2005-11-09T01:45:00.000+08:00

yet another trying day.

2004

2005-10-31T04:13:00.000+08:00

one year ago today (31 oct 04) i was a bummer. life was so good and mindless. eat, sleep, stone, bitch, coffee, movies, club, eat, stone, sleep, sleep, sleep.

u know how people start to complain when they have nothing to do and bumming gets boring after some time.

i have absolutely NOTHING to complain about, for almost a year.

so much transpired over a period of a year. SO MUCH.
time is now a commodity of luxury that i cant afford.

so much shit happened.
so much shit happened.
so much shit happened.
ya, so much shit happened, still.

i was how fat then?
and im how skinny now?

walao.

Random pics

'04

'05

2005-10-28T21:13:00.000+08:00

My blog is worth $6,209.94.
How much is your blog worth?

mwhahahaha

ashley, u're only worth $1,693.62, only?

overdue pics of currypok's b'day

2005-10-19T01:34:00.000+08:00

Currypok's burmese boy (but gameover already)

of course, he was at our mercy of funky mixes

so, when the mixes kicked in, i felt terribly sorry for his victims.

jon was so traumatised by currypok that he forced a vodka shot down his throat & the next min, he was gone. lousy. he is so gona get drunk on his b'day next week.

all of currypok's lovable frens. haha.

eeeew

2005-10-15T05:31:00.000+08:00

arggh, 98.7 is playing that horrendous Beijing Bicycle crap now, at such an ungodly hour!?!

arghhhh, im gona switch to 93.3 now!

ok, on 2nd thots maybe not.
95 instead. time to cultivate to the slping mode.

DISGUSTING.

GH VS Mount Elizabeth

2005-10-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

i busted $462 for today's echo test & consultation @ Mount E.

Dr Quek's 1min is worth $10 (talk or dun talk).
I've never been scanned for an hour b4, on top of that i feel so violated by that medical officer attending to me (i think shes gay lor).

no doubt, the price comes with higher efficiency, better customer care, very very attentive medical officer & most importantly, Dr Quek is a female.

i should initiate a "save P.'s heart fund campaign" soon.

World's most excruciating, insipid song? ever

2005-10-13T22:19:00.000+08:00

How can 98.7 allow Katie Melua to subject us, listeners to such disgusting lame, disgusting .. grossly disgusting song?! (hell, its not even a song lah, its ... watever, crap)

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing
That's a fact
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die

We are twelve billion light years from the edge
That's a guess
No-one can ever say it's true
But I know that I will always be with you

I'm warmed by the fire of your love everyday
So don't call me a liar
Just believe everything that I say

There are six billion people in the world
More or less
And it makes me feel quite small
But you're the one I love the most of all

We're high on the wire
With the world in our sight
And I'll never tire
Of the love that you give me every night

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing
That's a fact
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die

And there are nine million bicycles in Beijing
And you know that I will love you till I die

Imagine ur partner sings u this song with the intention to romance u.

omg ill fucking puke allll my organs out.

& check this out, from her very tasteful supporter.

simply the best
2005-09-18
Comment: The first time I heard this song it made me shiver....such a melodic tune and the lyrics are wonderful.Have heard clips of the new album...ordered it and cannot wait to receive it...simply the best...well done Katie.

ok, the first time i heard this song it made me shiver too .... such an UNmelodious tune and the lyrics are disgustingly and excruciatingly 'wonderful'. The worst lyrics in the history of songwriting .. i will tune in 9.33 if 98.7 continues playing Nine Million Bicycles again. yea really, 9.33. LOL.

Yucks.

In loving memory

2005-08-05T00:35:00.000+08:00

i miss my grandma so much ...

im back

2005-04-18T18:28:00.000+08:00

GreenAddict threatened that she will unlink me from her blog if i refuse to update my blog. so here's meeeee back again. haha. ive blogged. ill update soon lah. right now, no mood. i just need to seek therapy in s'pore sooon.

...

2005-02-01T01:39:00.000+08:00

grandma lost so much weight from the last time i visited her. its nothing like how she was when we were in beijing. shes hardly walking now. not eating much. its pains me SO MUCH to see her suffer. i cant even do anything to relieve her pain but to watch her, helplessly. i didnt expect her condition to deteriorate at the rate it is right now.

im going to lose someone so dear to me.

im more than just depressed now. i cant seem to cope with it. im trying. but i fail each time i try. its not getting any better that ill be leaving for melbourne next week. it might be the last time ill get to see her. im feeling so lost so lost so lost so lost right now. im willing to give up anything to see her well again. nothing else really matters.

my greatest hope is to see her smile when i get back from melb.

will you wait for me?

2nd introduction ...

2005-01-31T02:57:00.000+08:00

tracy siao charbo cum mypart-time nanny!

Introducing ....

2005-01-29T16:57:00.000+08:00

my Currypok Man !

just for you

2005-01-27T02:35:00.000+08:00

here's a special entry dedicated to Ashley for being sucha a sweetie!

T h a n k Y o u !

for all ur help & valuable info & ur call & ur hmmm love too.
You are so schweeet! Love YOu Loads!

i was forced to write this entry. lol.

and so, im officially 21 now. finally!

2005-01-18T23:57:00.000+08:00

Actually, being 21 doesn’t give me much of an incentive besides being able to walk legally into a theater that’s showing an RA movie. Its not like anything is gona change significantly after 21. Well, at least for now. Nonetheless, for the longest time, ive been waiting for this day. That stupid siao charbo tracy has to say that although im 21 now, but im trapped in a 16 year old body. Slut. but ill forgive u since u were the 1st to call and sang me a b’day song.

I had an early b’day celebration at one of the bungalows in Safra. The first night was spent chilling with only the boys aka sluts, and of course not forgetting siao charbo tracy and jac. nothing crazy and drama. Apart from the constant annoyance from my 10yr old cousin, all’s gd.

Hosted more than 40 people in total for the second day. It was so tiring getting the food ready. fortunately, I had siao charbo as my PA. No doubt she’ll make a gd housewife in future (strictly in context with only fulfiling household chores) hahaha. Currypok man was the iron chef (as he would call himself) for the night. he was so indispensible. No currypok = No food. =)

It got quite wild at some point of time. Disgusting & fucking smelly. The sabotage couldn’t have been better that left me scrubbing with all the soap I had, & rinsing myself like 3 times in the bathroom before I decided I was too tired for the 4th rinse. Well, all thanks to currypok man and his accomplices who seemed to be enjoying at my expense. If it wasn’t for my swt mom who secretly kept the flour and eggs, I don’t even wana imagine the pathetic state I would be in.

Wats a party without boozing right? I was not spared on the alcohol. Some cheaters! I have to reiterate myself again. Cheeaters! Im so sorry to disappoint everyone this year. The video wasn’t self directed and dramatic as 2004. And no, I didn’t lock myself in the toilet. No puking too. =) I merely knocked out beside my sluts and woke up to Richard’s breakfast. Dun try to exploit on my videos k! KhooYJ will be the 1st ill murder. Oh, and u’ll be subjected to the ‘poker’ which I cant really decide if u ‘enjoyed’ as much as I did, if I find out that everyone owns a copy of the video!

I know I was so deprived of slp and so drained after the whole celebration that I had a 24 hr marathon slp when I got back home. Nursed a retarded hangover too.

My Thank You List:

Mom – it wouldn’t have been possible without u!
Auntie Sandie – for all the troublesome errands.
Gil – for the endless errands that my aunt entrusted u to do.
Siao Charbo tracy – my personal assistant attending to alllll my needs. (except sexual needs of course =)
Currypok man – being my iron chef for the nite & clearing up the big mess u messed.
Currypok’s mom – for the delicious cheeken curry that my aunt cudnt stop bugging me to get the recipe.
Richard – fulfiling the role as my PA when siao charbo left & the beautiful breakfast. Ure sucha husband material.
Jon & Jac – u know it would never be right without ur presence.
Barry & Leslie – ur lil help on the drama that I could steal myself away from it for awhile.
JoAnn & Meng – the gift totally rock. If u cant get me at anytime, im sure u know wat im at.
Priscilla &Mark – its always gd to see u.
‘old’ Mich & Shawn – thanks for the intimate wear! Im sure ill be able to feel ur presence when im in ‘it’. Lol.
Dera, Deri & Deru – being my professional photographer. Oh, and the berms u did, fits so perfect. Can u sew more of it?
Paul Frank – thank u for sitting around and not help which dera reminded me. Haha. Sacarsm? Yes. ;)
Chicken runner – offering ur help with the food & satay.
Gillian – turning down other ongoing parties and attended mine instead. =D
Sammi – ur enthusiasm in capturing a self-directed video for 2005.
Eugene – hosting ur virgin drunk is my pleasure.
Joel – I duno wat to say about u. oh yes, u ought to be gentle even when ure intoxicated.
Chris – for taking time out.

Im sorry if ive left out some people on my list. My pea brain is not working right now, hmm like every other day.

a BIG thank you to all that made my 21st b’day sucha memorable one!

Happy Birthday Sis!

2005-01-12T23:28:00.000+08:00

its mua sister's b'day today. Happy Birthday Sis! had lunch at shima. it was good. my mom was trying to be irritating today. since im down with cough & flu, she said:

Mom: i tink its a waste of money to spend $40++ for a buffet lunch that u never seem to make it worth. And, ure sick sumore.
Me: OKAY lor, then i shall just seat there and watch u all eat lor!

-in the midst of lunch
Mom: im so proud of u.
Me: for wat?
Mom: u're eating everything now! last time u this dun eat, that dun eat. it seems like u're all grown up now.
Me: -grining non-stop- yes, im an adult already. hahahahaha!

na ashley. ure were just complaining i did not update my blog. so here's the update! advance thanks to the snail card that ill be receiving soon. :)

coffee is making me ...

2005-01-05T04:37:00.000+08:00

awake at such obscene hour! im tired. my mind wun stop racing. my chest feels a lil congested. i need to get my beauty sleep.

Happy New Year!

2005-01-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

if it wasnt for my gd persuasive skill to psycho my mom to sign me out of hospital, New Year's Eve would have been so pathetic. went over to jon's place for steamboat in the evening. it was quite a warming dinner. isaac roasted a chicken which was delicious. siao charbo tracy surprised me with her culinary skills. she made some kinda baked potato pasta with cheese. she didnt hv a name for it. so, i named it the tracy crazy maniac pasta. haha. jon is sucha good host i must say. i was still pretty much busy being sick, and so, while everyone was still enjoying steaming their boat, i was slping. woke up to 'fondue' that jon & tracy attempted to make. not bad la. oh yes, jon totally rock with that lorry man! that was seriously sexy ;)

after dinner and chilling at jon's place, we headed over to mox to meet jac & mich. the atmosphere was pretty hyped up when the clock stuck 12. however, i couldnt be the festive hyped up person i would like to be coz i was STILL busy being sick. irritating uh. i was at my peak when i proceeded to kallang oasis.

the girls i recruited for the party at Igors totally rock my night. dera was a lil high on alcohol i tink. she couldnt stop flashing deri & deru. basically, i was sexually abused. she still had the nerves to attribute her 3 bruises to me. Pam had too many sexy moves for the night. paul frank did a gd job pushing drinks as my future bro-in-law said. it was all gd & to an extend of sleazy fun at some point of time with the camera. thanks girls for ur help coupled with some sexiness while at the job. u girls did a zillion times better than those anonymous girls recruited from Shatec that were banished back home prematurely. haha.

Happy New Year to all!

busy being sick

2005-01-01T16:38:00.000+08:00

concluded 2004 with the worst relapse of the year. for the first time, my mom witness how i struggled with my relapse. funny how she always get to witness the aftermath of the attack only. i swear it was total hell for me. collapsed immediately when i managed to crawl back home. i vomitted in my room and my poor mom had to clean up the mess. was unconscious for awhile. i tink i almost frightened my mom to death. she flew me to the hospital. i felt like i was in the brink of death at that point of time. honestly, im just so glad being able to breathe now. nothing else really matter. i was reprimanded for skipping my cardio appts. im pretty certain i'll be visiting the hospital very often now :(
... as for my mom, she cant stop fearing that ill just 'go' anytime after witnessing the attack. oh well. i cant assure her myself too.

my holy body 2004

2004-12-30T01:26:00.000+08:00

im gona start my abstract crap now.

it has been a holy body 2004. i'm so proud of it. isit gona be another year of holy body 2005? hmmmm ... ... i tink 1.5 years of staying so holy is more than enough. can anybody understand wat im driving at?

siao charbo tracy has been busy with her cooking crap. poor isaac, jon & me are going to be her guinea pig for all her funky stuff shes gona whip up. haha. thanks tracy.

isaac just won't stop his taufik batisah 'i dream' song. its getting on my nerves already. & now he's howling into my ears with his all time favourite jay chou 'an jing'. omg, spare me one min of silence pls. lol. u know i still love ur howling anyway. ;)

i realise my blog is nothing but really pure crap. so so senseless. my very 'cool' dad just handed over a stack of $50 that amts to $3000. this is too retro for me to handle. am i suppose to tie it up with a rubber band?

never try to mind fu*k me. i only wan you & your beautiful soul.

Merry X'mas everyone!

2004-12-24T01:40:00.000+08:00

my blog has been in coma for quite a while. since its x'mas eve, ive decided to blog. ok, the highlight for the month of dec - my maternal grandma is back from toronto and will be staying here til feb. haven seen her for 2 yrs & she still look as healthy as before. i miss talking dirty to her. haha. but it seems like i need lotsa warming up to her for now.

i just came back from supper at Fisherman. i tink im kinda deprived from food. i ordered cheeken chop & i left no cheeken on the plate which is quite unusual. thats not all, after which, i ordered fish & chips too. i ate alllll of them! im soo proud of myself. im becoming more like a real pig now.

X'mas is just 22 hours away from now. i tink my christmas wish will be left unfulfilled. :(
but that's all alrite. no big deal abt it.

Mewwy Cwistmas to all! be blessed with happiness & loads of love!

im back in blogging action

2004-11-30T01:41:00.000+08:00

the only time that i would blog faithfully is only when im stuck in beijing. so everyone will hear from me lesser, now that im back in spore. haha. but i may be going up to beijing again next month. not like im given much of a choice. but maybe my maternal grandma whois coming back from toronto for a short holiday may rescue me. ha.

ok, digress a little, alyssa just asked me if i wana go zouk on weds.
Pee says:
got spore idol
Alyssa says:
duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Pee says:
lol
Alyssa says:
mambo is at night

haha, not like im soo into spore idol. i just dun feel like going la. ill see u girls on thurs nite ok.

it has been mox, bridget jones, rouge for the weekends, home on sunday, wala's today. so eventful since i stepped foot back here. jon, as usual has lots to bitch. haha. filled me in with everything that i missed out when i was away. quite interesting i must say.

siao charbo tracy called me several times today & apologized for watever reason. haha, ill never hold anything against u based on the fact that ure siao. u dun get branded siao by ur lovable frens for nothing. :) dun u just enjoy this special privilege darling? hahaha. no sacarsm intended hor, im serious. really.

isaac is down with cough. jac is down with cough and flu. i WAS down with heart prob yest nite. jon is the only survival. the power of love u see, thats y he's so healthy. haha. jac didnt look so gd just now. lesser junk food, eat wen ure supposed to eat tho u hv no appetite, tk ur med, u'll be gd in no time. as for that slut, i tink a lil tlc from bryan would do wonders for u. haha.

ok, before i type more crap here, i'd better stop now. gdnite.

yay! im leaving beijing tmr!

2004-11-24T21:21:00.000+08:00

ill be catching the morning flight back to spore! :0 there are about 30 vacant seats for the morning flight. no worries about being offloaded. FINALLY!

i didnt expect the weather to be soooo cold today. the wind was at full force. i could tell that my grandma was really cold but she kept insisting she was feeling just rite. bluff me alll the time. so i insisted on giving her my jacket. and so, i was left with 3 layers only. it was so freaking cold that my entire body was numb. now, i just wun stop sneezing! damn.

oh, this morning, my grandma had a panic attack coz she found her purse totally empty. she said Allll her $ just disappeared. ha, so i helped with the panic search. and guess where i found it?

in a disgusting looking plastic bag! O_O

totally speechless. only laughter.

thrills of bargaining

2004-11-23T16:12:00.000+08:00

i feel like a nanny these few days. my uncle's busy with work so, ive been entrusted to bring my grandma around. so much hassle before stepping out. i hv to ensure grandma had enough thermal wear, took her medicine, check on her constantly if she's feeling cold or unwell etcetc. money was a big hassle. i had sooo many bundles of cash. see until i giddy.

i was kinda worried initially coz my cheena is half past six. i even had problem bringing across things that i want to tell to my grandma. so, lunch today was mcdonald's. ha, i didnt hv to read any foreign characters. pointing was easier.

my grandma loves shopping more than sight seeing, so i brought her to xiu shui jie. bargaining was so much fun and satisfaction. haha. i paid a quarter of the offered price. cool uh. i won all battles. haha. when i was in bangkok, all i need to do was to tell my sis wat i wanted and she will settle it for me.

i need to breathe in spore air !

i wan to go home

2004-11-23T11:48:00.000+08:00

im supposed to leave beijing tmr BUT i think my grandma is enjoying herself here. so, i may stay for another day here. as much as i do not wish to, she's my priority for now. sigh. i hope i can get back to spore on thurs and no more deferring.

ive never glued myself to the tv as much as im doing now. school of rock, final destination 2, cheesy cheena drama etc. i need to get a life here. maybe some good carrot cake & ill decide to stay here longer.

summer palace

2004-11-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

stayed in the entire yest coz i wasnt feeling well to do anything. it was too cold anyway & the wind was doing its thang out there. my nose bled again. had diarrhoea too. must be that funky cold vinegar noodles i had for dinner. giddy as usual.

visited the summer palace today. yes, again the same old shi*t. the familiar smell of the emperor, dowager and enunch. i had to go through countless flights of steep steps. the condition of my dysfunctional heart only made me more wussy. my grandma did better!

i have this big problem about relieving myself at their public toilets. funky smell. not like spore's toilet of any better at times, but the sight of used toilet paper & some other 'red cotton' stuff left exposed was too displeasing for my eyes. oh, the summer palace toilet is rated 3 ***, issued by beijing tourism administration. cool uh. maybe spore shud start rating alllll the public toilets too. :)

i was having my dinner when i overheard my uncle's conversation with my aunt over at NZ now, that she has intentions of droping by end of this week. my jaw dropped instantaneously. it only meant that i have to stay here for another 2 weeks? Nooooo way! infact i was arranging tmr's flight back but i deferred it to weds morning instead coz i think my grandma wans to stay here longer. they were already discussing about extending our visas here. arghhhh. this cant be happening!

forbidden city

2004-11-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

my anaemia didnt get better today. duno wats wrong with my stupid system. the weather was pretty cold & dry today that my nose bled out of the blue when i was walking through the Forbidden City. lucky the blood know how to avoid my clothes. the places of interest here are all about the same. im supposed to appreciate the architecture and the historic value? all revolves around the emperor of those different dynasties having visited, stayed, or watever. it kinda bores me already. too much of ancient stuffs.

i was at this chinese restaurant this afternoon and suddenly alll the staff fall in outside the restaurant and were all positioned like they were ready to take a formal group picture. so cool uh. and then i realised they were tking their attendance. so communist. after which they were singing to some loyalty song. hahahah. so amusing. i almost choked on my pork in my mouth.

oh yea, and my uncle's chauffeur while driving passed this remark like "down here the traffic is see who dare to bang who only. see who got mental problem". ha i thot it was quite funi. or isit i hv no one to crack me up til i hv to settle for some not supposed to be funny remark.

i received an email from jon & barry. jon's so swt. he sounded like he was lovesick. i miss u too. im trying to arrange an earlier departure from this place then u will be back to gd health again. ha. k, im goin to slp now. homesick, lovesick, bedsick, heartsick, headsick, nosesick, im so sick. gdnite!

today's actitivies

2004-11-18T20:24:00.000+08:00

today's weather in the day is much better than yest. not as cold, but im not feeling well already. having anemia now. i crashed to bed almost immediately when i returned. i just woke up but i still have this feeling that my centre of gravity shifted up to my head and im falling off the chair anytime.

my stupid eyes just cant stop tearing since the day i arrived here. so irritating. i decided to use the eye drop before going out this morning. when i drank water, i felt bitterness from my throat but i ignored. i thot beijing spring water by default has this funky taste. haha. i just realised the bitterness is not from the supposedly funky china water. its the eye drop! im experiencing the damn bitterness from my throat now, right after i used it. yucks. i swear im not gona use eye drops in future.

ka pui =O~~ (im adapting to their culture fast eh, haha)

i visited the Temple of Heaven today. it is said to be the most holy of beijing's imperial temples. apart from seeing the real stuff used during the ming, qing, tang and other dynasties, nothing really fasinating at all. had a late carnivorous lunch today. headed to the supermarket that seemed more like a wet market to me. allll the promoters were shouting simultaneously. u hv absolutely no idea how damaging it was for everyones' ears, esp mine. my god. i felt so suffocated that i couldnt wait to run out of the noise polluted supermarket.

the supermarket is pretty cool considering that they have such a wide offering of products & some weird funky food too. my grandma was so cute. she wanted to buy some random stuff like batteries for her already dead radio back in spore etc etc. from the request im got from her, i tink she had intentions to buy the entire supermarket. i offered to buy her those live black chicken bk to spore. haha. she didnt get my sacarsm. she said something like "cannot, the chicken will be spoilt by the time we reach spore & i dun like black chicken". shes so funny lah.

ok, i need to stop now to get some food & slp soon. my head's spinning now. gdnite.

beijing

2004-11-17T20:45:00.000+08:00

im so bored that im blogging right now. kill boredom athough i cant view any blogs here for watever apparent reason china has. my grandma wanted to visit beijing. so here i am in beijing for the next 2 weeks. my grandma's slping already, and theres nothing much i really can do here. the sun sets like around 5pm. ive got suggestions like arranging meetups through fridae search & den enjoy some 'carrot cake' at the same time. haha. its like a hit-and-run situation here. should i? ive done the tv, read da vinci code, surf the net, so i guess its the best time to update my long overdue blog.

the weather is pretty cold here & its affecting my breathing quite a bit. esp when the wind decides to dance samba. an hour just before my departure to beijing i had a relapse. my heart & some other parts of my body system decided to screw me at such rite timing that i missed my flight & had to wait for the next one. the decreasing temp here is not helping me any better. im down with flu & my eyes keeps tearing esp when im slping til its all puffy now. looks as if i cried for 20mins?

i conquered the Great Wall of China today! yeah! i only managed to cover less than 1km before my heart started sending signals ordering me to stop stressing it. ha. although my grandma's down with cancer, but she seemed much more able than me. im so proud of her. shame of myself man. cursed heart. we have different health problems though, so canot compare.

i miss singapore already. im so not crazy abt the place im at right now. i miss my boys. how am i gona survive the next 2 weeks here. it seems like my grandma wans to extend her stay here. 3 weeks? ill hv to see how it goes coz ultimately i just wan her to be happy. i hope my sluts are doing fine & hving fun without me although i know wats fun without me right? hahaha. skin getting thicker after weathering the freezing climate here. hope jac's coping well too.

ok, im either going to do the book or tv now or probably just visit slumberland soon. gdnite!

most depressing day of my life

2004-10-12T01:16:00.000+08:00

Nobody will be able to understand how sad I am right now. Yesterday, I received a very unfortunate piece of news that my grandma has been diagnosed of lung cancer and is at its advance stage right now. She has only 6 months if she refuse treatment. If she does, maybe 9, 10, 11 or 12 months? My heart sank totally and almost immediately when I heard abt it. I fought back my tears til I excused myself to my room. This is just way too tough for me to handle. Grandma has always been healthy (more healthy than my maternal grandma whose living in toronto). She doesn’t smoke and no one does in the family. I can never get myself to comprehend this whole lung cancer issue.

Although im not living with my grandma, I have been very attached to her because she brought me up when I was a baby then. And even when I started living with my parents when I was 5, I would never fail to camp over as long as sch holidays lasted. I am so proud to say that im the only grandchild who visits her regularly til this very day. My greatest fear since young was the thought of losing her in my life. This thought perpetually haunted me for more than a decade and now, I hv to face it. Never did I expect it so soon.

I have many thoughts racing in my mind now. Im supposed to go over melbourne next year. Should I even defer it now? Will grandma wait for me? 6-12 months is way too short for me to come to terms with. I wan to spend as much time as I can with her and if im ever going over to mel, how much time will I be left. I dun wana regret not being with her when she is down to her very last. The fact that I have to face her departure in the near future is really too difficult to handle. Im not sure if I can. I doubt I can for now.

I recall telling grandma when I was ard the age of 5 that I will study and work hard in future to provide her the best I can. Like driving her wherever she wans to go, buying her tonics every week, clearing after her if she gets too weak when shes really old and immobile. Those were my words back then. Silly as it may seemed to grandma back then but I really meant every word I said even though I was really young. Is she just gona leave me even before I complete my studies? Before she could even see me through my adulthood? Leave me with all my unfulfiled promises? I will not hesitate to exchange 10 years of my life if God permits, so she can see me and everyone through their major turning points of their lives.

Nobody can ever comprehend the emotions im going through rite now. it seems like an endless mental war of emotions and reality that is so hard to accept. I hope grandma will fight and win this battle. Im hoping for a miracle now. Keeping my fingers and watever I can find crossed , I wish grandma will pull through for at least a couple more years. Im just beyond wat the word sad can interpret.

my agenda

2004-10-03T05:51:00.000+08:00

Just got home about an hour ago. Im so stoned that I shampooed my hair the 2nd time right after I rinsed off the shampoo. Nuts. I had so much food for dinner just now. Let me try to recall.
1)wanton mee
2)glutinous rice ball in peanut soup
3)century egg porridge
4)raw fish
5)can of coke

yes, all of the above at a go … im so amazed with myself. I was so bloated that I could barely move at all. And guess wat, im hungry again the minute I got home. So I ate one big plate of bee hoon and a cup of ribena to go along.
Im trying to fix my screwed up bio-clock. So, I wonder if I shud even slp at all. Its like 5.40am right now. This way, I would be really tired at nite so I can slp early for once. I wouldn’t even care fixing my bio-clock if not for the commitment I have for the next 2 weeks at least. I am so reluctant to work! But kinda felt a lil compelled to because I gave a casual agreement to my auntie’s fren proposal to work when I bumped into her at paragon. This means I die die also have to wake up 6.30 every morning.

On the flip side, at least I’ve found a routine agenda for myself. My brain has to start functioning tmr. It has grown mushrooms and algae over the past 5 months. I hope the scope of my job would be challenging or at least not monotonous. I still wished I didn’t agreed to work. I think probably my intentions of visiting the nearby islands hasn’t been fulfiled that’s why I am so not motivated to work. I am also hoping that I can bring my grandma to Beijing. She missed the swiss trip 2 months back coz she figured that she cant weather the mountains we were intending to visit then.

There’s so many things I have in mind that I wana do and have to do but I guess I have to defer it til im over and done with this work. Even my hospital appts hv to give way. But im more than happy to defer it. Haha. On top of that, my mom didn’t allow me with any choice, and shes gona send my for a couple of days course so that I can run the one man show when she and her business partner have some lecturing to do next month. I guess ill be a lil more busy than I ever used to be for the past months.

Happy

2004-09-25T05:04:00.000+08:00

Haven seen Gail for ages and finally got to meet up with her today. Did lotsa catching up and discovery at Spins. She’s Single Available Desperate now. Still as pretty as before or actually got a lil more prettier. Hey, if u’re reading this, u really dun hv to compliment that I got fatter in exchange for my praises. It would be better if you start considering my proposal. I’ll seriously consider picking u up from the airport soon. Lol.

Anyways, we tried waterbar and it seemed to be a ghost bar. Not a single patron at 12am. So we moved on to Happy. If anyone would trust my reviews, it is much zestful than any of the gay clubs with close proximity to Happy. The crowd had a better population of girls, tho a handful seemed rather str8. Haha. My 1st criteria to award it a better place. Seriously, the music was pretty good and spacious enough for the hunks to shake their booty. However, the management shud really consider expanding the washroom. The queue was sucha turnoff that I had to hold on to my Peee.

Ok, I had an encounter with this girl that was kinda ‘direct’. I cant really make out whether am I attracting the wrong kinda girl. She seemed a lil andro yet not. Haha, I almost could have satisfy my crave for carrot cake for the longest time, but … again I wasn’t being easy. Damn.

Last week

2004-09-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

This week was more outdoor compared to previous weeks I think. Hung out with jac practically everyday since tues. everyday was fun. Agenda was nothing but eat. Did pool too which I suck big time. Not gona touch that stick and small balls unless I’m sure I can handle it well enough. I’d prefer playing with bigger and heavier balls that im better at.

On the same day itself after I visited my grandma, I went to the chinese garden with jac and her grandma. Grandma’s Day. Haha. I cant even recall when was the first and the last time stepping in there. At least a decade ago. Lanterns were everywhere. I think the place was more like for kids .there were all the walt disney characters like mickey mouse, minnie mouse, donald duck, aladdin, nemo, lilo & stitch. I didn’t see pokemon, power puff and HELLO KITTY tho. Did they already enjoyed their fair share of attention during last year’s showcase? Featuring cheena lanterns were all abt the sun wukong and some demon spiders. More engrish than cheena patterns of lanterns for a supposedly cheena festival. Anyway, it was quite an exhilarating experience.

Caught the movie Dodgeball. It was supposed to be a comedy, it was for everyone else in the theater, except me I think. Wasn’t paying attention to the movie at all coz I was perturbed by something that happened just before the movie when I least expected and was totally not mentally prepared at all. like Surpriseee! definitely not pleasant but it might not be unpleasant too. depends on how i wana look at it. Completely ____________. (duno wat to say oso) sigh. All I can rem abt the show was the sexually arousing street fighter look alike Chun Li. Jac asked if this was my kinda girl I would go gaga over. Haha. Oh yes! I had CARROT CAKE this week! Chai dao kway (those that can be eaten and will be digested) @ Newton. I wished I had the other kind of carrot cake tho. DIY doesn’t really work allll the time. Im losing it already.

I need a short getaway to anywhere before im willing to function like a normal human being.

temptation leads to ...

2004-09-09T01:43:00.000+08:00

bad & sad news came from jon just now. a fren of ours recently got caught red-handed with possession of drugs. i was totally like speechless upon hearing that! totally saddened. a couple months back one of her gd 'sister' got jailed for like 2.5 yrs becoz of drugs and she was so depressed. and now, she got herself into such trouble. The Verdict: 5 Years Imprisonment. 5 whole dam years! her plans of reuniting with her family over @ perth seems impossible now. she has let her parents down & her grandma whose living in spore. oh man i feel so sad for her. this reminded me one msg that my dad sent when i told him i was gona stay out for 2 nites. "WARNING, NEVER TOUCH DRUGS". i read that & i burst out laughing. ok moral of the story, steer away from drugs.

i was forced to ...

2004-09-07T03:02:00.000+08:00

ok i so00 didnt intend to start a blog. i just did it apparently, so spontaneously under the mummy's power. She is so bratty that i had to succumb to her instructions. haha. i just made her appear to be such a biatch. :p Oh well, u know i only have love for u. hahaha.

ok the 'mummy' is actually jacqui in case anyone's wondering who it is. she just came back from her intensive holiday-ing over @ london, barcelona and paris. She msged me like 4.49am this morning that set me literally jumping outta bed. that was the time when she boarded the plane bk to s'pore. ok, so i met her at Holland V and not Pasir Ris ... alllllll the way 4 her. see how bratty she is. i saw most of her pictures & its really nice. nice refers to michelle pic & the architect and all the other still life pics.

im not gona comment on jac's pic coz shes narcississtic enough. ok she expects me to comment that shes bratty which i did, narcississtic which i did too, noisy, demanding, bitchy etcetc. Mission Accomplised. the next post ill write something really nice abt u ok. haha. u know i only hv love 4 u. ;D

anyway, i tink i shud stop now & continue tmr. jac's like hurrying me to just post this --------> evidence

Eating ROYCE white chocs says:
wah lao
Eating ROYCE white chocs says:
fastwer

ok im done !